I'm Alive

It's been more than a year since I posted.  Nothing really new or fun.  I love reading others blogs.  They have so much to say -- cute things their kids do or say, fun things they've made, books they've read, recipes they've tried, the list goes on.  My blog isn't really followed so I don't feel the need to keep it going on a real regular basis.  However, I think that will change. 

We've often been told to keep a journal.  I hate journal keeping.  As you can see, nothing much happens with me.  I live a pretty boring and dull life.  I've decided that this will be my journal of sorts.  I've gone through and continue to go through a lot of "pot holes" in my road of life.  Since I don't always have a live person to talk too, being able to write down thoughts and feelings might help. 

I was recently told by a family member "I know you will make the right decision.  You are strong and you will get through this."    She's right -- I am strong and I will get through this -- one step at a time, one day at a time.  Whether the journey is long or short is yet to be determined, but the journey is now beginning. 

Home Sweet Home

I didn't realize that buying a home would be soooo frustrating! I feel like Goldilocks -- too big, too small, too pricey, too crappy . . . nothing "just right." I know it has only been 1 1/2 weeks but its frustrating. Once I do find a house that I like (or think that like) then its either a) under contract; b) has one or more offers; or c) it is a short-sale or some other thing that makes my realtor say basically "don't go there." I know I'm just impatient but I want my own home NOW! We've already put in two offers on two homes, only to find that there were better offers -- both had to have been higher than the asking price, based on what our offers were. Argg!!!! Somewhere out there is "our" house. It just hasn't called our name yet.

Friends

A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be. ~Douglas Pagels

Thursday night I had the pleasure of spending the evening with two of my oldest (not in age) and dearest friends, Marianne & Joan. We have been friends for nearly forty years. I met these two when I moved to the little community of Erda, Utah in 1973. After graduating high shcool we went seperate ways -- I moved out of state, they went to Utah State and stayed close over the years. I would run into them occasionally when I would be back visiting Utah, and though we had good intentions to get together regularly, it never happened. In 2010 we decided we needed to make it a regular event and get together every couple of months. When we are together there is always fun and laughter. Just like the good ol' days.

Winner! Winner!

One of the local radio stations has a DJ that always uses the phrase "Winner winner chicken dinner." We,or I should say Sterling, is however, NOT the winner of a chicken dinner. Let me start at the beginning -- last Saturday we went to Price, Utah, a 3 hour drive from our home to visit our neice and her family. While we were there we met them at a car/trailer/ATV sale which was being sponsored by a friend of theirs. There was a drawing to be held at 5:00 for several prizes and you had to be present to win. Long story short, we entered and returned at 5:00. There were 5 gift certificates to Wingers (chicken dinner), 2 season passes to Lagoon (an amusement park in SLC), 1 Rhino spray-in liner, 1 8'x8' storage shed (assembled), and a Honda 4 wheeler. We are now the proud owners of an 8'x8' storage shed. Thanks goes to Tanya and Brian who are keeping it for us until we get our house (hopefully in the next 2-3 months). We then get the pleasure of finding a way to haul it 3 hours back to Tooele. Gotta love it!

A Precious Gift

Twenty years ago, with my husband deployed in Operation Deseret Storm, and my mother by my side, I received the most precious gift -- Richard Earl Ray, II. Rich was born weighing in at 8lbs 13ozs. He had strawberry red hair and was so alert and inquisitive from the very start. He held his little head up trying to see everything on his way to the nursery. He crawled at 3 months and walked at 9 months. For almost a year he was all mine! I loved every second with him. I would rock him every night until he fell asleep, and later it became our story time.

Rich has been not only my son, but my buddy. For 11 years of his life it was just the two of us. We've shared a lot of good times and interesting conversations. I've watched him grow and mature from the independent little guy he was to the independent young adult he is today.

I am constantly amazed and surprised by him. Among other things, he is outgoing (didn't get that from me)and artistic (runs in the family). He is a deep thinker and I'm surprised by the things he says, writes and thinks. He is a wonderful and unique artist, capturing a lot with his photography. I'm so thankful for this gift. Happy Birthday, Rich!

A Hero's Return

As I write this, I have been crying for the past 20-30 minutes. Yes, I am a "boob" and Yes, I am patriotic. It's always hard to hear of a fallen soldier, but today this fallen soldier is one of our own.

I knew it was today, but somehow I forgot -- I remembered as I went in to town today to retrieve the mail. Flags at half-mast, people and flags lining the streets, fire trucks out, and intersections blocked off. To look at the scene you would think there was a parade. However, instead of the usual festive atmosphere there is a somber and quiet presence. I guess in a sense there is a parade -- a fallen soldier/Hero has come home.

The soldier -- Jordan Byrd, a 19-year old who had only been deployed for three weeks, who left behind a wife and young son, born only three and 1/2 weeks ago. The nephew of a friend, the husband of one of my son's classmates. Jordan was a medic who was shot in Afghanistan while helping a fellow soldier. His unit was ambushed. Jordan paid the ultimate sacrifice and he will not be forgotten.

On this day I shed tears along with his family, friends and strangers. I couldn't be there physically to give him a hero's welcome, but I was there in spirit. Thank you Jordan for your sacrifice! Thank you to all our men and women in the armed forces and especially their families, who also make great sacrifices.

Wrong or Right?

Do you feel sometimes like everything is going wrong? I know I have felt this way too many times. I have a friend, Dee, who's husband is an inspirational author (best known for "Chicken Soup for the Soul")and from whom I receive daily thoughts. This one came across my desk not too long ago and really hit me. I loved it and thought I would share.

"Sometimes when things seem to be going wrong, they are going right for reasons you are yet to understand."

-- Alan Cohen

Woo Hoo -- it's Fall!

My favorite time of year. I LOVE the sights, the colors, and the smells. Fall brings with it lots of wonderful things -- crisp air, apple cider, pumpkins, corn mazes, spices (cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg), and of course leaves in all their glorious colors, just to name a few. Fall also brings a son's birthday and an anniverary! Best of all, Fall begins the countdown -- Halloween, Thanksgiving, and right around the corner -- Christmas!

You Are Loved . . .

or so I was told today at the Church Employment Center. Since February Sterling has been unemployed and today I was fired. Our Bishop's wife is the manager at the center and after being in there yesteday, I felt I needed to stop to talk to her. She told me that she had heard that when God loves us, he humbles us. She said we must really be loved! My reply, I dont' want him to love me so much.

Breaking the Silence

I know it has been awhile since I posted -- okay a very long while to be exact, but has there really been anything worth while to post?

On the way home from St. George my mother was telling my sister and I about a speaker that she had heard at a Geneology conference. He talked about the importance of keeping journals so that others can gain from us. (Something to that effect) He spoke of a journal that he had read which was simple. One entry talked about the day in such beauty and detail. The next day the entry only read -- "I didn't feel like doing anything, I slept in." The author of that diary was John Adams.

I know lots of people are going through a slump. I can try to post more, even if it is "I didn't feel like doing anything."

Christmases Past

Recently my coworkers and I were discussing the little things that we remembered of Christmases when we were a child. Things like stockings with a real orange stuffed in the toe; getting a new color book and the biggest box of Crayola crayons (the 164 pack with the sharpener in the back); or being able to open one gift on Christmas Eve – it was always pajamas. This got me reminiscing about some of my childhood Christmases.

1969 – We were living in Orem and there were only three of us kids then, David, Tom and me. We all had red felt stockings that mom made us. Mine had an angel, David’s a soldier, and Tom’s an elf or a snowman, after 40 years I don’t remember that detail. I do remember we had colored lights on the tree, (yes we actually had colored lights at one time) and on Christmas Eve mom bundled the three of us into the car to visit my Aunt Madeline (my mom’s aunt). My dad was flying and wouldn’t be home until very late. Aunt Madeline had this Christmas decoration that I liked. It was kind of like a merry-go-round but it had angels and candles. At the top were windmill type pieces. As the candles burned, the heat would make it turn.

1970 – We were living in Kennewick, Washington and I got a bike for Christmas. Mom and dad had to point it out because I didn’t’ see it. I also got my very first Barbie doll. It was actually Francis (she was not as developed as Barbie). I also got a Spirograph. I remember taking it next door and my friend Mark and his brother and I played for hours with it.

1974 – We were living in Erda and my brother Paul was just a baby. We(probably me) decided that we would perform a nativity for our parents. I was Mary (dressed in my mother’s negligee), Paul was the baby Jesus, David, Tom & Brian were the wise men. We made paper crowns and painted on beards. Lots of pillows placed on the dining room chairs made great camels. Somewhere at my parents house is a copy of a picture, but since I couldn’t find it, I couldn’t post it.

1977 – We were living in Erda and there were six of us then. Our good friends were the Egelunds, who lived near by. Our families got together on Christmas Eve for a special family home evening. After dinner we went into the family room and gathered around the fireplace listening to the Christmas story as it was read from the bible and singing Christmas songs.

Family Vacation

You know it -- that part of summer that usually evokes memories throughout your lifetime. I must be old – I don’t remember many family vacations, but I know that we took them. I do remember going to Yellowstone and spending a month in Georgia. I also remember fishing with my Dad and Grandpa (though I don't consider these vacations) and going to Dinosaur Land in Vernal. The others must have been camping trips and since I’m soooo into camping they must have slipped from my mind. It’s sad that I don’t remember many vacations but I do remember Dad offering to take us kids (at different times) to lunch. To this day when he asks if we want to go to lunch with him the same question still applies – are we going to Costco (the samples) or RC Willey (free hotdogs and soda)?

Since I’ve been married we have taken at least one vacation a year (okay – it has only been six years so my memory is still good for this period of time). Granted most of them have been to visit family for reunions and get togethers, or holidays. This year, however, we actually took a true VACATION! Woo Hoo!! Where did you go, you ask? None other than the “hot spot” of Utah and home to “red dirt” -- Moab. It was hot but it was fun. We slept in, did what we wanted without a time schedule, watched a couple of movies in the cabin, and had good quality time together. We took games but never got to play them as we were so tired at the end of each day.

We drove the scenic byway, visited the Hole N’ the Rock (interesting 5000 sq. foot home built into the mountain),


visited the movie museum at the Red Cliffs Lodge, visited Arches National Park,





checked out the Indian petroglyphs and pictographs,



and ventured to Cortez, Colorado for a day at Mesa Verde. Let’s just say Mesa Verde is awesome. We are planning to go back another time as there was so much to see. You really needed at least two days to take it all in. There are five houses or dwellings that you can visit. Three are guided tours and two are self guided. There are only four that I really wanted to see but we were only able to take in one of each – Spruce Tree House (self-guided)



and Cliff Palace.






We went “camping” in a nice KOA park there in Moab where we were able to stay in a cabin – the only way to camp.


It was a much needed time of R&R for all of us. I felt so refreshed when I returned to work. Future vacation plans include South Dakota and Durango, Colorado to name a few.

Tanner Family Reunion

Dear family members, I am sending you an invitation for a family reunion on July 11th. The enclosed attachmente has all the information. I have a limited E-mail list and I would appreciate you sending this to as many family member that you can both by E-mail and regular mail. We hope to have a good turn out and the event will prove to be worth your time. The surprise we hope to have for you will be a preview of a film that TC Christensen is doing on the life of John Tanner. He has produced many films you will be familiar with and some you should. The books will be a great blessing to the family. There is still a few week we will be able to extend the pedigrees to the 5th, 6th, and 7th generations, but the cut off date is very soon. Once the text is in the publishing soft ware additions will not be made. I am grateful for all those who have worked to bring the work to pass. If you will please forward any E-mail addresses to me. drwwtanner@msn.com so that the address list may be increased. Regards, Cousin Bill
Joseph Smith Tanner Reunion 2009.jpg

Summer Solstice

Now I know as well as most people, that summer solstice is the 21st of June -- the first day of summer and the longest day of the year, and that is how I have always viewed it. However, there are others throughout the world that actually have summer solstice celebrations, most of which are paganistic in nature. These rituals date back to Druid times or earlier. (The internet has a lot of intersting facts about summer solistice). Growing up in Utah I was rather sheltered. If such paganistic rituals took place here I never knew about them. My first experience with such was while living in Washington. There is a fun, quirky-funky little suburb of Seattle called Fremont. I may have liked Fremont had I not been there during summer solstice celebrations. Why, you ask would you be there then? Rich was a volunteer for an organization called Teen Link, which is a crisis hotline for teens. Rich had to work a certain number of community hours and so he had volunteered to work the Fremont Festival, where Sterling and I tagged along. Like most fairs there were booths promoting and selling all kinds of things from fun and practical to the odd and weird. What we didn't know was that some people in the parade (mostly bicyclists) were nude. Granted they had painted themselves, however the fact remained they were NuDe! The first person I saw as we turned the corner happened to be an old man who I swear had to be 80. I turned to Sterling and said, "That old man is wearing painted shorts!" Yes indeed, all he was wearing was his helmet, "shorts", and sneakers. Not a pretty sight on most people but certainly not when you are close to 80. I turned to Rich and said, "Rich, we're not in Utah anymore." We didn't go to the parade that year, but the following year Rich had to work the fair again. This time we attended the parade. The only thing I remember were the "nude bicyclists with painted clothing" and a group of belly dancers. The dancers were dressed in Red and there was one man also dressed in red that they danced with and around. He had short dark hair and a goatee (I thought he looked like Satan). I looked at the banners/flags that they were carrying and thought to myself, "What an intersting flower." Then I realized what I was looking at -- it wasn't a flower but a uterus and fallopian tubes. I was so glad that we didn't have to go again. It was just too Paganistic and wrong for this Utah girl. Even Rich thought so and he was about 14-15.

On MSN news I saw an article from Hagerstown, MD about Sunday being a "nude hiking day". Summer solstice is the one day a year where this group hike naked. Of course hikers who prefer clothes are not happy, as it is Father's day and families will be hiking with their children. It doesn't indicate that this is summer solstice celebration, but they do choose that day.

I tried to find a correlation between being nude and summer solstice. There is one thing I found that may be a correlation -- "Many esoteric traditions celebrate various rituals during this important event. The ancient Druids gathered at this time period to celebrate the forces of light. Many Pagans celebrate this time period as Litha or Midsummer’s Eve. It is celebrated as a triumph for the forces of light over the forces of darkness with a huge bonfire. Wiccans honor the Horned God in all his glory and the Goddess as pregnant, and ready to bear the fruit of the harvest.

Altogether, Midsummer is a favorite holiday for many Witches in that it is so hospitable to outdoor celebrations. The warm summer night seems to invite it. And if the celebrants are not in fact skyclad, then you may be fairly certain that the long ritual robes of winter have yielded place to short, tunic-style apparel. As with the longer gowns, tradition dictates that one should wear nothing underneath -- the next best thing to skyclad, to be sure. (Incidentally, now you know the REAL answer to the old Scottish joke, 'What is worn underneath the kilt?')" I don't know if this the reason or if it has to do with fertility. Who knows? I think I'll just continue to stick with Christianity.

Pomp & Circumstance

Here it is -- the day I've known was coming for 13 years. Am I ready? Is Rich ready? Like his mother Rich is a procrastinator. We found out at 2:00 p.m. this afternoon that he WAS going to be able to walk with his class. Mind you graduation starts at 6:30. No pressure what so ever. (LOL) Rich is smart, however he is too social. He also has this bad habit of doing the work, just not turning it in. Hopefully he will have learned this practice isn't good and change things before college. (Is this wishful thinking?) I no longer have to worry about lunch money, parent-teacher conferences, class parties, and field trips. Now I just worry about how he will do in college and life on his own.

Rich has always had such great teachers. It started with Ireta Lindway and Sue Roberts for preschool, then on to Gayle Chapman for kindergarten. and many others, whose names I can't remember (or too numerous to mention). Gayle retired about a year or two ago and taught two or three of my younger siblings. She still remembers Rich. Her words "he is one of those kids you can't forget." I don't think she meant it in a bad way. Even then he was quite the talker. She even put him at his own desk away from everyone and he still talked!

Rich was never a "jock". He was never one of the "popular" kids. He did have a part or two in a play here and there. (The Pied Piper, The Wiz, and a class play his freshman year.) He enjoyed journalism and helped with the school paper (the few issues they produced). I've been told he has a quite a talent with writing, as he is a very deep thinker and his writing is beyond a high school level. His greatest accomplisment by far though has been his photography. He has won several awards with his art and we are very proud of him.

Though Rich doesn't win awards for sports, or popularity, he has compassion. He has always been the friend to the underdog, the misfits, etc. Compassion will get him farther in life than being able to play ball. I often think as a parent I failed. Especially during the time when I was a single parent. I think, "if I could just turn back the clock." Then out of nowhere my son surprises me. He listened, he learned, not just from me but from his teachers, friends, and the others involved in his every day life.

Congratulations Rich! We are so proud of you and all of your accomplishments and know that you will go far if you set your mind to it. We love you! Mom & Sterling

Bragging Rights Updated

Back in January I bragged about Rich's photography. Two of his four pictures went to Springville Art Museum for competition but only the barber's pole was accepted into the show. For those of you who don't know, this is an honor in itself as only about 100 - 150 students are accepted to show their art. This was Rich's second year being in the Springville Art Show. Well I now have some additional news in which to brag about. Last week he found out that is photo has been accepted into the Art Council Traveling Show. This is a greater honor as only 25 students are accepted. His photo will travel for the next year and he will be able to have it back in July 2010. I know that I promised to post pictures shortly after my blog in January and my brother Paul keeps reminding me they are still waiting for his pictures. Here are the winning photos he has entered in various exhibits. To see, as he calls it, "his masterpiece" as well as some additional photos you can check out his blog http://olddoorphotography.blogspot.com/. Way to go Rich!!!

Faith, Hope & Charity

This week I had a couple of opportunities to see these three principles in action. The first incident happened with someone that I did not know, a total stranger. The second incident, happened in our small community and involved the son of a friend of mine.

Faith & Hope: I was visiting the courthouse the other day and had the opportunity of sitting in on various arraignments, pretrials, sentencing's, etc. One of the cases involved a young woman who was currently incarcerated at the Women's prison. This woman had been arrested on a parole violation for prescription drug abuse. She was a single mother with a 15 year old son. She had recently found out in prison that she probably had cervical cancer. Her attorney was attempting to get her released into the care of her mother and placed in a in-resident rehab near her home in St. George, as well as her being allowed to have a biopsy performed under general anesthesia, as opposed to local anesthesia ,which is offered at the prison. Her attorney then asked the Judge if the woman's mother could address the court. This is an unusual request which the judge took into consideration and allowed the mother to speak. Here is her story in a nutshell. She moved here from Georgia seven weeks ago, selling her house, loading up a moving truck, towing her car behind her, and driving cross country so that she could be near her daughter to help and take care of her and her grandson. She spoke of how her daughter has been in constant pain for four years. Each doctor she had visited had not found anything wrong, but had prescribed pain medications, which over time has led to her daughter's addiction. She told of how a year ago she fasted and prayed every day, somedays two or three times a day, that there would be an intervention in her daughter's life. The following Monday her daughter was arrested. She told the judge that she was the mother of five children and this was her only daughter. She advised the judge that she had friends in the community, in the medical profession, and in her church, that could offer their help and support. She was led to believe by her daughter's attorney that if she were here to take care of her daughter, that the court would most likely release her daughter into her care. She has done research and believes that her daughter suffers from a little known disorder that involves the bladder and/or cervix. It is very painful and causes extreme irritation and inflammation in those areas. She also has the faith and the belief that if her daughter is suffering from cervical cancer, that treating this could eliminate her pain and the need for prescription pain pills, which would lead her daughter to begin to heal. What strength and hope I saw in this mother's face as she addressed the court, waiting for the judges decison,and how impressed I was that she had such faith that all would work out in these matters. My heart and prayers go out to her and her family.

Faith & Charity: This past Saturday we had a horrible accident involving four teens, three of which were killed. An 18 year old driver crossed the line and hit another vehicle with three teens head on. The three that were killed were not wearing seatbelts. The driver was a 23 year old single mother of two little boys ages 1 and 3. Her passengers were a 20 year old young man who was waiting for his mission call, and a 17 year junion who was a cheer leader at Grantsville High School, the school which my son attends. Rich knew three of the four students fairly well. We attended Taft's "viewing" the other night. We arrived at 7:45, 15 minutes before it was to end. There were so many people, young and old alike, and the line was so long that it took us until 9:00 to get through the line. Rich attended Taft' funeral the following day and reported that the attendance was so overwhelming that there was standing room only at the very back in the cultural hall. Taft's mother, Peggy, asked our names and said she recognized a lot of faces but didn't know names. When Rich told her who he was and how he knew Taft, she asked him why he looked familiar. He replied that he went to school in Grantsville and worked in Grantsville. She then lit up and said, "You work at Jens. You waited on me the other day. You are so polite. I said to myself 'this young man knows what customer service is all about.'" What a compliment to both Rich and myself. I thought how amazing this mother was to stand here giving my son compliments during her time of sorrow. I was surprised, though I shouldn't have been, at the number of people from the communities of Grantsville, Stansbury, Erda, and Tooele, that turned how to show their love, concern, and support for this family. As a mother, and especially as a member of the LDS church, I know that Peggy feels the comfort in her faith that she will see Taft again.

Tagged

I was recently tagged by my sister Nancy with the letter "K". This was supposedly chosen at random (yeah right!) and was pretty darn hard. I had to come up with 10 things that I love that begin with the letter "K". Here's my list. (I know some of them are really stretching it, but sheesh -- give me a break.)

1. Kindness
2. Kisses
3. Kittens (unfortunately they grow up to be CATS!)
4. Kids (especially those little nieces and nephews)
5. Kinfolk
6. Kohl's (one of my favorite shopping places!)
7. Kite flying
8. Knowledge
9. KOA Campgrounds (what would camping be without them -- miserable) and last but not least,
10: Kina, Kimberlee, and Katelyn (three of our nieces)

Pay It Forward

So, here's how it works: the first 3 people to leave a comment on this post will receive, at some point during the year a handmade gift from me. What it will be and when it will arrive is a total surprise! The catch is that you must participate as well. Before you leave your comment, write up a pay it forward post on your blog to keep the fun going (or copy and paste like I did). Then come back, let me know you're going to play and sit back and anticipate the arrival of your gift! Come and play!

I know this a shameless attempt to get people to leave comments. Humor me.

Dear Blog: We want to sing to you today#links

Dear Blog: We want to sing to you today#links